She cites a study that found when people generally aspire to fairness, and have recently been asked to think about fairness, they're likely to inhibit certain biases — for example, gender stereotypes. You can take advantage of this phenomenon by doing one of two things that Halvorson recommends.
One, you can comment on how the ability to accurately judge others must be a key skill for someone in their line of work. Or two, you can share your own experiences with fairness, for example a time when you misjudged someone. You want to prompt someone to pay more careful attention to your behavior instead of relying on first impressions. To do this, Halvorson says you should create a situation where the person relies on you to help them achieve their goals.
Halvorson suggests identifying opportunities for collaboration. Maybe you've embarrassed yourself in front of your boss, so you volunteer for an assignment that would allow you to work closely with them. She personally had an experience with an employee she thought was lazy. The employee suggested that they get to know each other better by going to a rock climbing gym, as he was an experienced rock climber.
Recent research suggests that we're much more likely to change our attitudes if we get new information from a trustworthy source than an untrustworthy source. They watched strangers who were given the choice to a administer an electric shock to someone for more money or b to not administer that shock for no extra money. Thus, the strangers were either in a "good behavior" or "bad behavior" grouping.
The participants were then asked to rate their overall impression of the good and bad strangers from horrendous to nice. The study participants were very sure of the ratings they gave the nice people. They were quite uncertain about the rating they gave the bad people. The research indicates that we're much less certain about those leaving bad impressions on us because we know that to set that impression in stone means we'll never enter a relationship with them, thus eliminating a chance for social connection a deep-seated, psychological need.
So we'll subconsciously give benefit of the doubt to the bad person knowing that people make mistakes in an attempt to stay open to new information that will change our impression. As the researchers behind the study put it, "Incorrectly attributing bad character to good people damages existing relationships and discourages forming new relationships. Sometimes she held doors for people and gave compliments.
Other times she would cut in line and spread gossip. Subjects answered how long such behavior had to go on for their perception of Barbara to tip in various directions. The result? Barbara had to do nice things for more consecutive weeks to become regarded as a good person than the number of weeks she had to do bad things to become bad. The researchers found similar outcomes for scenarios involving characters who tipped or shared resources in either a stingy or generous fashion.
However, this does not mean it is impossible to overcome a bad first impression once made. While we should always do our best to make sure our first impression is a stellar one, there are things you can do if something has gone wrong. Here are six tips on how to overcome a bad first impression once made:. First, sometimes you need to help people find a way to interpret your behavior more positively. If people see your actions were well-intentioned, then they will be much more likely to see even a bad interaction as a positive.
As an example, if someone knows you cut them off in a conversation because you got an urgent phone call your loved one was in an accident, then it is very likely they will see the interaction in a different light when thinking about it later.
If they find out you were having an off day because your dog just passed away, then their empathy will kick in, and they will see the interactions they had with you that day as excusable, and it will be much more unlikely to affect how they see you in the future.
So try to be vulnerable and allow people to understand you better if things went wrong. Second, while you may not be able to delete the memory, you can make new ones. If you got off on the wrong foot with someone, all is not lost. If you consistently make new and better impressions on them over time, they will likely begin to reform that initial impression they had of you and come to see you in a much more positive way. Soon, they may even completely forget that initial interaction they had with you because they have had so many positive ones in the meantime.
To achieve that, repetition is key. Small yet repeated interactions build trust the fastest. Overcoming a bad impression requires that all your future behavior has to be consistent with how you want to be perceived.
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